This is a series of stories about the drama and trauma of my pet fish. As a new fish owner, I began to write down all of my failures and successes. These experiences quickly became pieces of flash fiction told from the fish’s point of view that I posted on Facebook. As the stories became longer, I realized Facebook was not the right medium for them, and they have now found a home on this blog. The stories are told as written accounts from newspapers, journals, letters, and police reports. As you, hopefully, enjoy these embellished stories, keep in mind that the authorities and doctors are not fish.
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Sasquatch Returns!
The mysterious absence of Sasquatch Giraffe has been solved. He returned yesterday afternoon with a well-aimed splash that soaked the authorities, floor, surrounding electronics, and wall. Something he told us was “Very satisfying and well deserved.” When we asked him where he had been, he told us it was a “Small, cold place where breathing…
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MISSING FISH REPORT
Incident Number Officer on Case Date and Time On a scale of 1 to 10, how dire do you think this is? 000026 Inspector Fishnet April 7, 2015 3:17 am 4 Name of marine life reporting the loss Address Relationship to the Missing Reason for reporting the marine life missing Ginger “Geoffrey” Giraffe The…
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Final Letter
Wilt Chamberlain III 1st Tall Spindly Red Plan Leaf 3, Watery Neighborhood My Dearest Friend, I hope this letter finds you well and that the despicable algae games are not disturbing the house. Thank you for your note and for inquiring about my health. The hospital is abysmal, the food is bland, and I miss…
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Algae Tablet Games on the Gravel Channel
Sponsored by That Fish Store. “Where you get all the tasty food.” “Welcome to the daily Algae Games where we get to see if our pleco, Milktoast, will get her food. What do you think, Dover, will she get to eat today?” “Well Mackerel, I firmly believe that Milktoast is capable of taking on any…
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Mr. and Mrs. Giraffe fail to integrate into the Neighborhood
It’s been a month, and all of Sassy and Geoffrey’s attempts to make friends have been for naught. Geoffrey has invited neighbors over for pressed worm flakes several times, and when she went to have a friendly chat with Ninja Smee, she got snapped at. Sassy doesn’t seem to care if others accept them, so…
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Chummy Peacock’s hospital diary
June 16, 2014 Morning: I’ve got the dreaded itch. I can feel parasitic creatures trying to feast on my scaly, handsome flesh. Thankfully, the authorities caught me swiping against the rocks. It’s nice to know they are looking out for my benefit. Afternoon: I take it back. My relief over doctors being alerted to my…
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The Tank of the Infirmed: hospital records for Chummy Peacock.
June 16, 2014 We put Chummy in the hospital tank. We suspect ick is developing. Our doctors are still getting their degrees, so they’ve used an all-in-one broad-spectrum medicine. There’s no heater in the small, made-for-guppies tank, but we’re hoping that won’t make a difference. The transfer from the neighborhood to the hospital went smoothly,…
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Towels Provide A Soft Landing
The As The Water Swirls neighborhood is a tall metropolitan skyscraper for distinguished fish with five sides. A regal shape that adds more of an artful look to the authorities’ living room than the usual rectangle. The design further cramps the residents because they all want to live on the bottom floor. It also requires…
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The Newbies
Things are as calm as they can be in an overpopulated neighborhood. We are still waiting for the authorities to figure out that unless they get a bigger tank, things are not going to go smoothly for long. We also hope that they read the “how many fish can be in a tank” section of…
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The Fury and the Exchange
The Lady of the Purple Plant either forgot about her past domestic abuse or decided to get revenge on the rest of the inhabitants. Something Nina Smee has taken personally. “After all the time I spent watching her you’d think she’d leave my tail alone!” This caused a lot of startling fear and, consequently, a…
Written In Ink 