As the Water Swirls

This is a series of stories about the drama and trauma of my pet fish. As a new fish owner, I began to write down all of my failures and successes. These experiences quickly became pieces of flash fiction told from the fish’s point of view that I posted on Facebook. As the stories became longer, I realized Facebook was not the right medium for them, and they have now found a home on this blog. The stories are told as written accounts from newspapers, journals, letters, and police reports. As you, hopefully, enjoy these embellished stories, keep in mind that the authorities and doctors are not fish.

  • Death and the Demolition

    Sweettart, mother of who knows how many children and mate of PUC, was murdered by Beetlejuice yesterday. While no one would call her amiable, she will be missed—mainly by the authorities. “Her one surviving child will never know his mother,” PUC moaned from inside his cave. Since her death, he’s emerged twice. Once to eat…

  • The Surprise

    With the trauma of Madame Geoffery’s new diet and the continual efforts to find a way to introduce algae eaters into the algae-prone prison, authorities did not clean the neighborhood for a good two weeks. No one in the neighborhood complained since cleaning is a traumatic event, and the tank has been relatively peaceful since…

  • Madame Geoffrey’s New Diet

    Authorities started serious efforts to bring in new algae eaters a few weeks after rehoming Milktoast. This time they are determined to not repeat previous mistakes by getting an algae eater who will outgrow the tank.  “We’ve decided that getting dwarf plecos, one for the neighborhood and one for the Palace/Supermax prison, is the best…

  • The Surprise Goodbye

    Authorities decided three tanks were too much, and seeing as all of their attempts at peace had failed, they made a hard decision. Last night, they gathered Smee and her babies and whisked them off to the neighborhood pet store. Nobody was upset by this decision. Madame Geoffrey was excited when she saw the net…

  • Reserve Tank Gets New Residents

    Yes, you read that headline correctly. Instead of adding a resident to the supermax prison/palace or implementing the old prison to incarcerate SweetTart, authorities took the reserve tank, tank number 3, in case anyone is counting, and created a new neighborhood. To everyone’s surprise, SweetTart was not the one removed, but Smee and her babies.…

  • The Sleepy Hollow Crimes Solved!

    Kyle Sand, our pyromaniac journalist, went undercover and “borrowed” the police report on the baby murders that everyone is calling The Sleepy Hollow Crimes. He was caught and had to return the file, but not before he made a copy. When we promised to fire him again, police dropped charges against Mr. Sand and The Bubbly…

  • Headless bodies! Bodiless Heads!

    After weeks of peace, teenagers started dying last week. Daily, authorities are finding dismembered bodies. They are either without heads, or it’s just the head—gapping mouths in silent screams, clouded over, half-missing eyes, deep holes chewed into the sides. Inspector Seaweed was on the scene early today when the fifth half-eaten chunk of little fishy…

  • Society Pages July 25, 2016

     Madame’s Palace is clean, but is she sick? After the third drain and scrub, Madame Geoffrey moved back into the Palace/Supermax Prison two weeks ago. So far, no algae has grown back; however, without an algae eater, everyone knows it’s just a matter of time before the Madame finds herself back in the reserve tank…

  • Authorities are only 90% sure that it isn’t nuclear waste

    The Palace/Supermax prison has been taken over by noxious green algae. The stuff is so pervasive that it doesn’t grow on the sides of the tank. It simply floats. No one can see Madame Geoffrey unless she is right against the glass. Authorities decided not to move Milktoast into the Palace/Supermax prison because she is…

  • Society Pages April 12, 2016

    The Neighborhood Grows! The Bubbly Review congratulates Beetlejuice and Smee on their latest batch of fry. The neighborhood welcomed fifteen little ones Friday night around 5 p.m. There is some debate between Smee and the rest of the tank about who they take after. Smee thinks they look like Beetlejuice. Everyone else says they look…