Authorities started serious efforts to bring in new algae eaters a few weeks after rehoming Milktoast. This time they are determined to not repeat previous mistakes by getting an algae eater who will outgrow the tank.
“We’ve decided that getting dwarf plecos, one for the neighborhood and one for the Palace/Supermax prison, is the best option. We’ve never forgotten our previous albino dwarf pleco, Suckytwo…” the authorities said with a little tear and began a soliloquy about Suckytwo. Our reporters left after twenty minutes when it was clear that the authorities weren’t going to give us more information on the current situation.
Two months ago, authorities brought a dwarf pleco home and decided to put it in Madame Geoffrey’s tank right after they fed her. Madame Geoffrey mistook the pleco as part of her meal, grabbed the little guy, and started chewing. The authorities were able to get him out of her mouth before she killed him.
Needless to say, the poor pleco was not feeling his best. Authorities gave him to someone who promised to keep him safe and healthy.
A week later, they brought home an albino dwarf pleco and placed her in a breeder net in the Palace. The plan was to let her grow a bit and get Madame Geoffrey used to having a tank mate. They also said they’re trying to dispel any notion that plecos are food.
For the last month and a half, everything went smoothly. Madame Geoffrey spent her days attacking the algae tablet through the netting but left the pleco alone. Authorities projected that the pleco would only need to be in the breeder net for another two months. Then the pleco got out and wedged herself between the glass and the lip of the breeder net. Authorities shrugged and foolishly (are they ever not?) decided that since she was well hidden and they couldn’t get to her, all would be well.
Somehow, Madame Geoffrey was able to suck little pleco out of her spot. Authorities saw it and immediately started screaming, “Geoffrey! Drop her!” Half of the pleco’s tail hung out of Geoffrey’s mouth and waved goodbye to the world with each chomp of her jaws.
They didn’t expect her to oblige them, but she did. Geoffrey spit out the headless pleco—who’d only been in her mouth for only a few seconds—with gusto and swam up to the glass to do her little happy dance while the half-corpse of the pleco plummeted to the bottom of the tank.
Frustrated, the authorities told Madame Geoffrey that plecos were not food and vented a few other choice words before sighing deeply. Once the Mistress of Pain realized they were done talking to her, she promptly finished eating the adorable albino dwarf pleco. She complained and pouted when she didn’t get dinner that night, but the authorities were unsympathetic.
Two attempts to control the algae contagion without using harmful chemicals or draining and recycling the tank have failed. Unless you ask Madame Geoffrey. She thinks the authorities love her more than the others because, “Only I’ve been given special delicacies for dinner.”
There are rumors that the authorities will try again.
—The Bubbly Review
Written In Ink 