Beetlejuice and Smee have been battling it out despite the extra room. With Madame Geoffery and Brian/Einstein gone, authorities made an unexpected discovery. Beetlejuice is not the instigator of the fights between him and Smee. In fact, he does his best to ignore her whenever neither of them is in prison. What leads to the fighting is as follows:
- Once Smee gets out of prison, she swims over and pokes Beetlejuice.
- Without responding, he’ll turn away from her.
- She will then come up and jab him.
- He’ll swim away in his leisurely manner, which appears to infuriate her because then she gives him a tail slap to the face.
It is this last one that causes Beetlejuice to retaliate, resulting in Smee losing large chunks of her tail and flippers.
Authorities told reporters that “The earlier taunting is most likely what keeps Beetlejuice from ceasing her attacks once she loses her cool.” (We tried to correct the authorities and tell them that Beetlejuice is a he, but they refused to listen).
Authorities are tired of the prison rotation.
“We are tired of finding creative ways to escape-proof the prison when Ninja Smee is in there. And they are tired of having to medicate the tank because Smee makes herself sick when she realizes she can’t get out. Tired. Of. It,” one authority said with tears in her eyes.
So, they bought a mesh tank divider. However, thanks to the odd shape of the tank, they couldn’t find one tall enough. They were not daunted, though. They grabbed some fishing line and sewed together a couple of tank dividers. They did their best to cram the divider between the two fighters. The divider still doesn’t fit the tank, but the holes are small enough that only Sweettart and PUC can get through comfortably.
“It looks awful,” Sweattart informed us. “I can’t believe the authorities like looking at it.”
“I don’t mind it,” Milktoast said. “It catches extra food, although the ends of the fishing line do tickle the back of my throat if I’m not paying attention to the section I’m slurping on.”
Ninja Smee is still escaping, and Beetlejuice is still beating her up once he’s had enough of her incessant needling. The difference is that now she has a safe place to go while he calms down. The authorities have decided to accept that this is probably as good as it is going to get.
—The Bubbly Review
Written In Ink 