The toxicity of the tank built up to uncontrollable levels on Tuesday. While the residents gasped and rose to the top to try to breathe (despite the filters working), authorities scrambled to find the problem. When residents could no longer keep to the top to get air, officers swooped them up in a net to support them. After an hour of trying, authorities finally accepted that the populace of the tank was the problem, and the only fix would be to buy another fish tank—something they could not do. They cried as half the tank passed away. Goodbye: Chummy, Ezekiel, Bardarbunga, Bonnie, Wilt, and Pinky.
We will miss them all.
Beetlejuice, Ninja Smee, Madame Geofrey, Einstein, PUC, Sweettart, and Milktoast have recovered from their illness and redistributed themselves among the plants and décor. We tried to get a statement from the remaining fish, but all refused to comment.
Authorities hope the prison will no longer be needed considering all the room the residents now have.
Obituaries
Bardarbunga and Bonnie: Our sweet bumblebee cichlid couple never made it into the Bubbly Review pages because all they did was swim zombie-like while trouble unfolded around them.
Chummy: Our not-always-friendly ruby peacock, who got a tattoo during his last few days in prison and was doing his best to change his ways.
Ezekiel: Our friendly peacock, who didn’t mind talking to the Bubbly Review or jumping out of the tank when extremely hungry. During his last month, he befriended Wilt by moving into the leaf of the red plant that the late Sir Witherspoon inhabited.
Wilt: Our shy compressed cichlid. The authorities used him to detect serious problems, like a canary in a cold mine. When the water became dirty, or the heater was unplugged, it was Wilt’s droop that alerted the authorities to a problem. May he find his friend Sir Witherspoon in the great ocean beyond where there’s enough room for all and no bullies.
Pinky: Our little, mighty fairy tail cichlid, beloved companion of Brain (ahem, we mean Einstein) and accomplished boxer.
—The Bubbly Review
Written In Ink 