Reporters have been working frantically to get their hands on more of the case files concerning the departed neighborhood that we are all so anxious to know about. Finally, under cover of darkness, one reporter was able to get their fins on another file. We, of course, fired that employee because their actions were a breach of protocol, and we don’t want the authorities to shut down our company. But it is our duty to inform the public of the evil out there, so we’ve published the information.
Case number: 300100
Date: 28 December 2012—31 December 2012
Reporting Officers: Inspector Seaweed and Inspector Fishnet
Case: As The Water Swirls Serial Murders
Inspector Seaweed and I stopped our stake-out last week. We’d spent so much time watching petty arguments and lackadaisical swimming with no answers to our investigation in sight that we started playing Go Fish. It was an all-time low for us, and we took a few days off.
We shouldn’t have.
The day we left, the highly entertaining Fiesta was found wedged behind the heater; the community was in a panic while police pried Fiesta out. The next day Pinata was discovered belly up and stuck to the filter.
We began our investigations immediately upon returning, and the Newest Queen Diva was our prime suspect. When we interviewed her, she stated that she could care less about the murders and wanted to be left alone.
Today the watery inhabitants gasped in horror when the Queen Diva was found dead. The Coroner reported no visible signs of sickness or trauma and filed an official report saying that she died of natural causes, but my partner and I are unsure. When asked if she would miss her sister, the last Diva stated that her sister probably killed herself by being high maintenance, and she wouldn’t be missing her.
“Now I’m the Queen of the tank,” she said.
As one can imagine, this newest string of murders has the community feeling paranoid. They have stopped swimming together, thinking that being alone would be safer than being in a group.
Last night another murder took place. The last Diva was found dead this morning at the bottom of the tank. The Coroner’s report was the same as the previous Beta’s death. The brand new community is starting to doubt my partner and mine’s ability to care for the neighborhood. Little do they know that we are also questioning our abilities.
It is curious to notice that after the clean-up of the mysterious fourth murder, the community went back to their everyday concerns. This makes Inspector Seaweed and I suspect that maybe there was a murder pact.
We spent the rest of the evening listening to complaints from Marbel the Suckerfish about Banna Fudge the Wag Platy. Apparently, Banana Fudge bit her to get at her algae tablet. Banana Fudge said that there was no reason for Marble to bite him back and that she should share. Marble pointed out that he would see his own food floating at the top if he would just look up.
Meanwhile, I observed Ghosty the Ghost Shrimp sneaking in to take a few bites of the algae tablet. We’ve taken notes of the complaints but decided to let the three of them figure it out on their own while we try to figure out why everyone keeps dying.
Inspector Fishnet
Written In Ink 